We’re all wandering through this offseason desert together.  Who is our Moses? Let’s take a stroll around Al Gore’s backyard colloquially known as “the Internet” for some enlightened guidance before I have to start reading about soccer and the like.

The closest thing we college football bloggers have to a Moses is the incomparable Spencer Hall at Everyday Should Be Saturday.  Hall forges on through the Hell that is offseason with his requisite tomes amassing 50,000 words on a daily basis.  He has kicked out a few pieces of late that I am particularly fond of:

Like two wealthy barons enjoying a nice scotch at Augusta National, Hall of Gatah Nation bequeaths wisdom to the reigning guard of Alabama on the responsibility and expectations of recent success.  Apparently, there is a letdown factor after winning a National Championship.  What a horrible problem to have.  Similar problems include having a hot girlfriend that is just too thin, short runways in Aspen for your Gulfstream, and max bet limits at the tables in Monte Carlo.  For shame.

Teams and fan bases get a little fat and giggly on the sweet nectar of a MNC.  Alabama fans are a reasonable bunch.  I’m sure they’ll respond delicately when the veil is lifted on McElroy and he soils himself to the tune of three picks on ten throws against Penn State.

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I have always wanted to attend the Kentucky Derby.  It combines many passions of mine such as bourbon, gambling, girls in sundresses, and distinct caste systems.  Spencer Hall took in the Derby this year and shared his experience in the most sensible way – through the eyes of a young Chinese boy.

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It’s barbeque season, which is a delight, but much like a holiday party, you’re often left to converse with the dregs and the uninteresting.  I’m not much for discussing occupations around the grill on the weekend. People with the most boring jobs are the most likely to yammer on about their careers.  This means you, accountants.  I want to hang out with this dude during my free time.

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There is no offseason at the FanTake Network and Barking Carnival has been delivering stellar content.  Scipio Tex is back penning nice pieces after his sabbatical in the Andes where he dissected the spread offense with a throng of sherpas.

He took ESPN’s Mark Schlabach to task on the lazy assembly of a May Top 25.  Boise State was amply belittled, patronized, and then given a swirly for setting foot in the varsity locker room.

OOO loogit!  AGS IN THE TOP 25!

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Scipio continued assault on the traditional “journalists” after Rick Gosselin at the Dallas Morning News missed a deadline and spat out a Shakespearean article on four quarterbacks with serious clipboard holding potential.

As a Bronco honk, I’ve been numbed into delirium after the McDaniels’ massacre on a once-proud franchise.

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LittleBigMatt at Pokelahoma fired up a cripple fight when he wrote a nice essay on his residency in Arkansas.  I haven’t spent much time in the Natural State, but I detect a palpable amount of small man syndrome.  This plays nicely in the hate mongering SEC, yet kudos to Arkie fans for their continued abhorrence of SWC foes of yesteryear.  We’ll see you Piggies back at Jerryworld.  Don’t hang 60 on us this time.

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Up the road at Boomer and Sooner, NorthDallasSooner put together a solid college football road trip wish list.  I’ve been fortunate to visit many of the storied stadiums in college football.  I’ll conclude this post with the best places I’ve been as well as the places I want A&M to schedule series with.

Best places ColoradoAg has been (no particular order):

• Clemson. Great fans, good looking trim, nice campus.
• LSU. Not for the faint of heart.  Unrefined fans, great food, and a pleasant waft of bourbon comes out of Death Valley every time the Tigers score.
• Army. Wow, awesome campus.  This alone is worth the journey.
• Ole Miss. Elitist tailgating in the beautiful grove packed with beautiful girls.
• Rose Bowl. I was at UT-Bama this year.  Unreal setting.  Perfect weather, tailgating on a golf course, and a historic stadium that kills its soulless, corporate brethren venues.
• Notre Dame.

Home and Homes I want for the Ags:

• West Virginia. Burning couches is on my bucket list.
• Ohio State. See West Virginia.
• Penn State.
• Wisconsin. Madison is awesome.
• Oregon. We actually have them on a future schedule, but I bet someone backs out.
• USC. Also on a future schedule.
• Florida. Swampy.
• Tennessee. Let’s see what all the Neyland fuss is about.
• Washington. I like Seattle and tailgating on a boat would be a joy.

Where do you want to go?

Gig ‘em.